Description
Understanding Dementia: Stories of Love, Challenge, and Hope
A 12-Week Journey for Caregivers and Communities — First Canadian Edition
By Lidia Kondrashova and Oleksandr (Sasha) Kondrashov · DROKACADEMY Press · 2026
A Companion for the 3 AM Hours — and Every Hour After
Dementia caregiving does not begin with a diagnosis. It begins the first time you realize the person in front of you is both your loved one and someone you are slowly learning to meet all over again.
Understanding Dementia: Stories of Love, Challenge, and Hope is a 12-week story-based journey written from inside the experience — not after it, not above it, but within it. Dr. Oleksandr (Sasha) Kondrashov is caring for his Mama as he writes. The book is dedicated to her, co-authored in spirit with her, and shaped every day by the soft sounds of her presence in the next room.
This is not a textbook. It is a circle of voices, caregivers across the world who shared their most vulnerable moments in online support communities, gathered with reverence, reshaped with Ukrainian names to honour both privacy and heritage, and offered back as a gift to everyone who has ever felt alone at 3 am.
What You’ll Find Inside
60+ Witnessed Stories. Composite narratives drawn from years of participation in online caregiver communities, representing the universal emotional truths of dementia care: the guilt, the grace, the exhaustion, the unexpected tenderness.
12 Chapters Spanning the Full Arc of Caregiving. From the first raw acknowledgement of emotional weight to the threshold of letting go and beginning again.
Sasha’s Commentary Throughout. Reflections drawn from both 20+ years of social work education and the lived reality of caring for his own mother, bridging professional frameworks with the sacred ordinary of daily caregiving.
Grounding Exercises at Every Threshold. Each chapter opens with a somatic invitation, a breath, a settling, a permission to feel, so you can enter difficult material with care.
Journaling Prompts in Every Chapter. Private spaces to remember who your loved one is, who you are becoming, and what you are learning to carry.
A Comprehensive “Note for Canadian Readers.” A practical reference guide that translates American caregiving terminology into Canadian context, palliative vs. hospice care, provincial long-term care systems, CSIL and self-directed funding, advance care planning documents by province, and much more.
Chapter 0: Before the Journey and After the Journey — tender framing sections that invite remembrance, legacy writing, and the honouring of objects, rituals, and the people we carry forward.
The 12-Week Journey
Chapter 1 — The Emotional Weight of Caregiving Carrying the Unseen: Honouring the Hidden Emotions
Chapter 2 — Advocacy and Medical System Challenges Standing Up to Systems, Bureaucracy, and Barriers
Chapter 3 — When Safety Becomes the Priority Wandering, Nighttime Confusion, and Hard Decisions
Chapter 4 — Choosing Care Facilities with Love Wait Lists, Family Disagreement, and the Weight of Placement
Chapter 5 — Managing Daily Routines and Resistance When Water Becomes War, Missing Purses, and the Night Watch
Chapter 6 — Understanding the Dementia Diagnosis Process Neurologists, Medications, and Difficult Medical Decisions
Chapter 7 — When Love Feels Like Blame Accusations, Boundaries, and Invisible Love
Chapter 8 — Navigating Public Spaces with Confidence Restrooms, Family Time, and Different Worlds
Chapter 9 — Finding Moments of Grace and Connection Good Days, Making Memories, and Tender Mercies
Chapter 10 — Holidays, Rituals, and Shifting Traditions The Quiet Hours, the Show-Time Mask, and Honouring the Care Team
Chapter 11 — Understanding Hospice and End-of-Life Choices Comfort, Hard Truths, and the Weight of Decisions
Chapter 12 — Letting Go and Beginning Again My Watch is Over, Letting Go with Grace, and the Last Call
Each chapter contains multiple caregiver stories, community wisdom shared in response, key insights organized by theme, Sasha’s personal commentary, lessons to carry forward, and prompts for reflection.
The Seven Truths Woven Through Every Chapter
Across all twelve chapters, certain truths emerge again and again — the wisdom that sustains caregivers through the hardest days:
- You Are Not Alone. Whatever you are feeling, someone else has felt it too.
- Imperfect Love Is Still Love. Devotion coexists with frustration. Showing up imperfectly is still showing up.
- The Person You Love Is Still There. Beneath the confusion, the essence endures — and flickers through in unexpected moments.
- Advocacy Is an Act of Love. Speaking up for someone who can no longer speak for themselves is fierce, protective devotion.
- Grief Begins Before Death. Anticipatory grief is real, and naming it makes it gentler to carry.
- Self-Care Is Not Selfish. You cannot pour from an empty cup. Accepting help is wisdom, not failure.
- Every Journey Is Unique. This book offers wisdom, not prescriptions. Trust your own knowing of your loved one.
Why This Book Exists
Sasha did not set out to write this book. He set out to survive.
When he became a primary caregiver for his Mama, he turned to online support groups and found something extraordinary: raw honesty, practical wisdom, and a community that understood what no textbook could teach. He began gathering the stories that most impacted his understanding — not as a researcher, but as a son who needed them.
The book emerged from that gathering. It is his offering back — to the caregivers whose words kept him afloat, to his Mama, to every family standing at the threshold of a diagnosis, and to anyone who wants to understand what dementia asks of those who love someone through it.
“I did not own these stories. I witnessed them. In every story I read, I saw myself. I saw my Mama. I saw friends and colleagues who struggle with the same questions, the same guilt, the same exhaustion, the same moments of unexpected grace.” — Sasha
Who This Book Is For
Family caregivers at any stage of the journey — just beginning, deep in the demanding middle, or emerging on the other side transformed.
Healthcare and social service professionals — nurses, social workers, physicians, personal support workers, and case managers who want to understand dementia care beyond the clinical.
Peer facilitators and support group leaders running caregiver circles, grief groups, or community education programs.
Students and educators in social work, nursing, gerontology, family studies, and related fields.
Friends, colleagues, and community members who want to show up meaningfully for someone they love who is caregiving.
Anyone seeking to understand what dementia means for individuals, families, and the human heart.
Flexible Use
- Self-paced individual reading — move through chapter by chapter, or turn to the section that meets your current need
- 12-week facilitated group program — ideal for peer support circles, community education, and professional development (90–120 minutes per session)
- Academic curriculum — for social work, nursing, gerontology, and family science courses
- Professional development — for healthcare teams learning trauma-informed, family-centred dementia care
What Makes This Book Unique
Written From Inside the Experience Sasha’s Mama is still with him as these pages are being written. This is not a retrospective. It is a book being composed alongside the living of it — a rare and honest thing.
Story-Based, Not Curriculum-Based Where most dementia caregiving resources offer frameworks, checklists, and protocols, this book offers voices. Community wisdom. The kind of knowing that emerges only from people who have lived it.
Ukrainian Threads Woven Throughout All caregiver names have been changed to Ukrainian versions — honouring confidentiality and Sasha’s heritage simultaneously. The book is part of a larger Ukrainian-Canadian storytelling tradition: love, care, and share carried across diaspora.
A True Canadian Adaptation Most dementia literature is written for American audiences. This book contains a comprehensive translation guide for Canadian readers — provincial terminology, funding structures, home care systems, advance care planning documents, and healthcare pathways across all provinces and territories.
Dual Audience, Single Heart Written for both those who are caregiving and those who are trying to understand caregiving — because both are walking the same road from different vantage points.
A Work in Progress, Honestly Named Sasha names the book as a first edition — a course designed while navigating, not from a place of completion but from a place of learning. Future editions will deepen as the journey continues.
A Note on AI and the Writing Process
Sasha is honest about the tools that helped this book come into being. AI assisted with the writing process — not to replace his voice, but to save energy during moments when writing emotionally about what you are living is almost impossible. Every story, every commentary, every dedication is his. What AI offered was stamina.
This honesty is part of the book’s ethic: nothing hidden, nothing pretended.
Accessibility and Pay-It-Forward
eBook: $19.99 CAD
Free copies available: Email drokacademy@gmail.com — no explanation required. If you need this book, it is yours.
Donate and Nominate: Give $19.99 or more to either the Stand with Ukraine Scholarship Fund or the Love Care Share Scholarship Fund at Thompson Rivers University, and nominate someone to receive the book free.
All net proceeds support these scholarship funds, carrying the book’s Love · Care · Share ethic into the lives of students.
About the Authors
Lidia Kondrashova — Sasha’s Mama, his first and most profound teacher of love, patience, and presence. This book exists because of her, and because of the journey they continue to walk together.
Dr. Oleksandr (Sasha) Kondrashov is a Ukrainian-born Canadian tenured associate professor in the School of Social Work and Human Service at Thompson Rivers University in Kamloops, BC. Across more than 20 years across multiple Canadian universities, he has taught 7,000+ students, founded DROKACADEMY (motto: Love · Care · Share), and built his scholarly work around the Social G*R*A*C*E*S* framework, Ukrainian diaspora advocacy, and family-centred social work education. He has co-organized 200+ consecutive Saturday Stand with Ukraine peaceful gatherings in Kamloops since February 24, 2022, and served in leadership roles with the Canadian Association for Social Work Education (CASWE-ACFTS).
This book represents the intersection of his professional expertise and his daily life as a primary caregiver — written from the heart of someone living every page.
Website: www.krasun.ca
Final Message
To the caregiver reading this at 3 am: you are not alone. The person you love is still there. Imperfect love is still love. Your watch is sacred work.
To the friend, the colleague, the healthcare worker, the student: thank you for wanting to understand. Your presence in this circle matters more than you know.
To those who shared their stories in online communities and may one day recognize an echo of themselves in these pages: your words mattered. They helped me. They will help others. Thank you.
This book is a gathering place. May it meet you where you are.
With respect, Sasha
Get Your Copy
Email: drokacademy@gmail.com Format: PDF, fully printable, accessible on all devices, searchable text Sharing: May be shared with care team members (with permission)
“Because even in fractured systems, care is still possible. And together, we can make it more just, more kind, and more human.”
— Dr. Oleksandr (Sasha) Kondrashov
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