In his sharp and deeply human article, Ukrainian social psychologist Oleg Pokalchuk tackles what he calls the syndrome of postponed life — not as a diagnosis, but as a way of thinking that paralyzes us in the face of uncertainty.
This is where contra spem spero lives. Hope in defiance of reason. Laughing instead of crying. Living forward when the world says to freeze.
What is the syndrome of postponed life?
It’s not a mental disorder — it’s a survival mechanism. When war, trauma, or chronic uncertainty destroy our ability to imagine a future, many of us stop making decisions, stop planning, stop dreaming. We wait for “after the war,” for “better days,” for “the right moment” — moments that never come.
We’re not lazy — we’re frozen. As Pokalchuk writes, “We mostly freeze in the present moment, hoping to wake up in a better reality.”
But the more we freeze, the more time we lose — and the more meaning slips away.
Hope through humor: the physiology of sorrow and laughter
Pokalchuk reminds us that crying and laughing share nearly identical neurological pathways. Both are involuntary responses to the unexpected, regulated by the same emotional systems in the brain. That’s why, in moments of great tragedy or absurdity, the body sometimes can’t tell the difference.
That’s not failure. That’s survival.
We laugh — bitterly, ironically, painfully — not because it’s funny, but because it’s one last form of agency.
Turning tragedy into a “digging stick”
Instead of treating our existential paralysis like a terminal condition, Pokalchuk offers a different metaphor: take the grand tragedy and carve from it something useful. A digging stick. A tool. Something that helps you keep moving, one small motion at a time.
His advice is strikingly simple and radically grounded:
Don’t chase a perfect future — break your dream into small, doable actions.
Celebrate tiny risks and wins, even if they feel silly.
Avoid digital environments that monetize your anger and burnout.
Notice moments where “nothing bad happened” — that too is a kind of peace.
Most of all: laugh when you can — it might save your life.
Living while waiting — or living instead of waiting?
The article challenges our internalized belief that joy is “inappropriate” during times of crisis. Pokalchuk describes how burnout and emotional numbness become ideological positions: “It’s not the time to enjoy life.” But joy is not betrayal — it’s resistance. And sometimes survival demands letting go of the tragic narrative and simply stepping into the absurdity of life with humility and ironic hope.
Full article in Ukrainian:
“Синдром відкладеного життя. Як із величної екзистенційної трагедії зробити практичну «палку-копалку»”
by Oleg Pokalchuk July 3, 2025
Thank you Мирослав Откович for sharing.
In short:
“Don’t shoot yourself in the head with stupid thoughts,” Pokalchuk quips.
Laugh if you must. Cry if you need. But don’t wait for life to resume — it already has.
With respect,
Sasha / Dr. Oleksandr Kondrashov
P.S. The photo I’m sharing is from a walk I took after reading some upsetting news. I won’t write the whole story just yet, but I will one day. What I will say now is that I was in Austria, I had a weekly regional transportation pass, and instead of freezing in place, I made a decision. I went to Krimml Waterfalls — Europe’s highest — 380 meters of water falling down a forested mountainside, surrounded by alpine air and the sound of something ancient and constant. I will write about the trip in more detail as well, as it was an adventure worth sharing. That walk saved something in me. And I’m glad I did it. Contra spem spero — I hoped against hope, and I kept walking.
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